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Melbourne Singapore

21 October 2017

I want to murder your children

As mentioned above, my 7.5 hour flight from Melbourne to Singapore was completely full, full of sickly horrible children.
Despite having a roomy seat, good food and all the ameneties you could want, the experience was cataclysmically bad.

First of all, some slight humor, before I describe in detail how I fantasized for hours about strangling small children.
Across the aisle from me there was an older Australian couple, heading off to a week in Singapore, the man was loudly telling every stewardess all he was going to do was pull up a stool at the Raffles club and drink Singapore slings until he passes out.
Well he and his wife decided to start early, and kept demanding drink after drink, they actually give you spirits in economy class.
Eventually they decided to stop serving them drinks, but then the next shift started and she gave them more, the main guy came over and told her in Chinese not to give these people any more alcohol because they are too drunk and getting silly - direct translation.
This had some of the Chinese speaking people nearby and me who pretends to speak Chinese laughing under our breath. Thats my 'I can speak Chinese' brag out of the way already.
Not to worry, a few minutes later the guy got up and retrieved a bottle of Johnny Walker from his hand luggage and they started drinking that out of a plastic tea cup.

My drunk countrymen were nothing though, nothing compared to the horror of horrible children.
How can you scream for 8 hours and not die? or be killed?
All around me children were competing to see who could be the most annoying, children too old to be behaving in such a manner.
One particular little girl would scream for an hour then start hurling abuse at her father, and he was even more useless, after every abusive thing she said he just would say 'enough' over and over.
Then this girl would fake choking and coughing fits, whilst the father yelled STOP NOW! STOP, STOP, STOP IT, NOW STOP, STOP NOW!

Meanwhile behind me, another child, screaming the whole time, was allowed to pull the remote thing out of the back of the seat, which is attached by a cable, and throw it around and pull on it, and scream into it.
He did this for at least 6 hours and the cable never broke! Fantastic engineering really when you think about it.
Finally, another little girl nearby seriously had whooping cough, and all the stewardesses fussed over her endlessly.
I wanted to throw all three of them out of the door at 40,000 feet.

Now I am in Singapore, for 5 hours, walking endlessly in a semi zombified state. Although I had an emergency, I needed to get my steps goal on my watch before midnight Melbourne time because I remember changing time zones on my watch causes a days data to be lost.
I just made it.

Melbourne-Singapore - Still in Melbourne here, theres a wall of panda statues, I decided to pose with space panda.

Still in Melbourne here, theres a wall of panda statues, I decided to pose with space panda.


Melbourne-Singapore - This is the best photo I could get of my A330. I find them the most comfortable long haul plane, as the 2,4,2 seating means theres never more than 1 p

This is the best photo I could get of my A330. I find them the most comfortable long haul plane, as the 2,4,2 seating means theres never more than 1 person to climb over you in economy.
The colors are wacky because of tinted glass.


Melbourne-Singapore - Part of my epic 10km walk around Singapore airport. A sea of carpet.

Part of my epic 10km walk around Singapore airport. A sea of carpet.


Melbourne-Singapore - Same spot looking the other way. Whoever won the carpet supply contract is rich.

Same spot looking the other way. Whoever won the carpet supply contract is rich.


Melbourne-Singapore - As promised, here is the butterfly garden, shot from above, very high ISO on this photo (6400), handheld in the dark. Noisy probably, my eyes are too

As promised, here is the butterfly garden, shot from above, very high ISO on this photo (6400), handheld in the dark. Noisy probably, my eyes are too tired to tell.
I warned you there would be photo terminology nonsense.


Melbourne-Singapore - This is the very disappointing Singapore airlines lounge. Their worst lounge is in Singapore. There is basically no food. No fruit at all. Thats some

This is the very disappointing Singapore airlines lounge. Their worst lounge is in Singapore. There is basically no food. No fruit at all.
Thats some really uninspiring photos so far, I better improve tomorrow, although I will be wandering around Tokyo on zero sleep.


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