Adelaide 500 Car Race

March 15-17 2002

Redneck Paradise

Hello AGAIN, this is the Adelaide 500 Car race!
To celebrate the general redneckness of it all (its our equivalent to nascar) I have decided to comment on the pictures in a fashion fitting for the event.
read on!

first some pictures of cars, this is inside some car makers big tent thing, i think its ford, yeah the car says ford, note the car has green headlights, what an idiot, also note that the tent has wide screen plasma screens, i tried to fit one in my backpack, some guy got mad so i said 'theres plenty more if you want to take one as well' but he must be one of those guys that hates wide screen.

this idiot has speakers in the trunk and a tv, this is the stupidest thing i ever saw, you would have to be really small to fit in there to watch and it doesnt look very comfortable.
check out the picture on the screen, some guy has his hand on a chicks ass, this lady next to me had her kids there and she didnt look pleased.

Yeah! check out that mullet, i said 'my man, thats a wicked flowing mullet!' and people all around were admiring it, nothing is quite as stunning as a truely raging mullet

this is what we call a UTE, which means like, utility, i guess you have them elsewhere, on weekends we like to drive around in these and play AC/DC and throw empty fosters cans in the back, or, you can fill the back with ice and keep the fosters cold, a truely great idea with so many uses

this is the australian air force aerobatic team, they are called 'the roulettes' because every time they go up, its a gamble.
no really when i was at the track they have a radio station covering it all and they had some wing commander on the radio and the announcer asked him if thats why they were called the roulettes and he got annoyed
then the announcer reminded him about a guy that died flying for the roulettes years ago, then there was an awkward silence

you saw the ute before, this is from the ute race, actually they are delivering ute loads of fosters to the corporate facilities, this is the quickest way.

this is a ferrari from one of the support races, its actually faster than the cars in the main race, the guy opened the hood and i said 'that engines so small i cant even see it' and he told me it was in the back, so i stared at him and he seemed to get annoyed, then i said 'in the back of what?'

this is a lamborghini diablo, i told that guy 'you bent your door, thats gonna cost a lot to fix' and he told me they were gull wing doors, i stared at him for a while and he looked mad, then i said 'so like do you just replace the bent door or can you fix it?'

i offered that guy $10 to stick his head in the barrel and when he said no i reminded him that as a tax payer i pay his wages, he sort of walked away, no doubt in fear of me and my ninja skills.

this is a tank, only we cant afford tanks with catterpillar tracks so ours have tyres, this is a ute like before but with a different body